It started innocently enough. During lunch out with a co-worker, we somehow stumbled on topic of whether it's okay for a guy to look at other women when they are happily involved or married. After some discussion, the debate was boiled down even further to -- ALL guys look at attractive women, no matter the circumstances.
 
"It's in a man's DNA to look at attractive women," said my colleague. "It doesn't mean they're going to act on it." The debate heated up when I said in the two biggest relationships of my life, my men didn't look at other women when they were with me.
 
"Ha!" laughed one. "That's BS!" said another. "Of course they were looking but you just didn't know it," said someone else. Ouch!
 
A group of about eight of us, men and women, circled in the newsroom and argued quite heatedly for about 45 minutes Friday. (I am not identifying many of the very high profile people involved to protect their identities.) They unanimously agreed all men's eyes wander. There's nothing wrong with it, they said. It's part of "nature."
 
You should know I can be hard and tough in the newsroom (Pitbull is one of my nicknames) and my staff knows it. They were very surprised to see the romantic optimist in me fight back hard, hopelessly and alone... "Not all men are the same. You can't say every man is the same."
 
"Yes, they are!" they argued.
 
Without getting into details of my personal life, I know my last relationship of ten years was unique. I never saw a wandering eye out of him in all our time together. And believe me, in my youth I had two boyfriends whose heads would spin around and ogle whatever woman walked by. I find that behavior insulting and rude. Not out of insecurity. But out of confidence. Hey, you've got me! You don't need anything else. That's why they didn't last long.
 
But I was the lone wolf in this argument. I believe some men are so in love, enamored, appreciative, grateful, smitten or so focused on their partner that even the hottest hottie wouldn't get their attention. I've seen it to be true. But my boss retaliated with the coup de gras: "You wouldn't want them to appreciate beauty?" That comment led to a loud, rousing, hand-clapping group cheer against me telling me I had lost the debate on that clincher.
 
That was not the issue. I was defending Men. I believe they are not all created equal. I've known my share of them from my time living around the country in New York/New Jersey, Los Angeles and now Sacramento. From what I've seen of them, I would never say all men are the same and have the similar behaviors.
 
The talk got me to cautiously email one of my exes after a long absence, now doubting what I believed to be true after all those years with him. "Is it true? They say I'm naive and all men are the same..."
 
"You were not naive and your co-workers are wrong to think that all men have wandering eyes," he replied. "They are painting with a broad brush because there are exceptions. I am such an exception."
 
Phew! I didn't imagine it. There's one guy out there. While I listened to my co-workers arguments, they didn't persuade me. I still disagree with them no matter how much I am outnumbered. I feel like I am sticking up for all Men, and their  fabulous uniqueness. Because wouldn't life be boring if we were all the same?
 
I urge you to weigh in through comments or Twitter...Aliases accepted. :)