There is a tendency - especially if you’re a procrastinator - to think this national outpouring of love came from the marketing departments of Hallmark, Mrs. Sees, Mr. Hershey, and the California cut flower commission. They can’t claim ownership but they’re certainly willing participants. More than 123 million roses will find their way into American homes and businesses tonight, as will a billion dollars worth of chocolate.
Restaurants will be packed and the lingerie counters and wine shops will be busy, as it’s long thought that a little bubby is the perfect mood setting elixir.
So how did this all get started and why February 14th? There is lots of lore but as best I can sort it out. There were, way back in the day, about 250 A.D. a number of holy men who went by the name Valentine, 14 so known, which might explain why it’s this day in February we honor the saint or the memory of the collective saints. The actual story of the one man thought to be the definitive saint Valentine is bittersweet. He was an outgoing priest in Rome, when a really nasty emperor named Claudius was running the show. About mid-February there was a Pagan ritual called Lupercalia when all the young men and women of a certain age would put their names on a piece of paper and drop them in a big jar - one for each sex. There was a big feast and the kids would draw names and seek out a new friend. Often the friendships would blossom into love. This torqued off Claudius, because these lovesick dudes were digging the domestic life and thought it a much better deal than marching around Europe killing other guys or worse, have them kill you. Claudius declared that only married men could dodge military service and banned marriage below a certain age. Valentine thought that was harsh….and went around marrying the couples in secret. Claudius - he had him arrested then beaten then sentenced to death. In the interim we’re told Valentine fell for the daughter of the jailer who would talk to him every day, even though she was blind. Legend is that on the day he was to be executed, the woman regained her sight, a few hours before Valentine lost his head.
Everybody who has ever been in love has an opinion about the whole process and even kids who haven't quite had that close encounter with cupid are weighing in. Six-year-old Del has a sure fire way to get in good with the fairer sex: tell the girls you own a bunch of candy stores. Nine-year-old Bart thinks the way to win a girl’s heart is fine dining. This grade school lothario says French fries usually work for him. Seven-year-old Kenny is a confirmed bachelor-in-training. Asked about marriage, he offered this: “It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid; I don't need that kind of trouble. Five-year-old Tom is on a mission: "Once I’m done with kindergarten, I’m going to find me a wife.”
I suggest you find a girl who’s good at math; otherwise 5th grade will be long and hard. And there are a few Hallmark card writers out there.
Asked to come with a one sentence expression of their ardor, here’s what they said:
“St. Valentine might have been crippled - he’s the patron saint of epileptics and bee keepers” - not sure why, but of course apparently because you can’t have a Valentine’s Day without your honey.
