CHURCH LADY

Travel and Leisure Magazine has warned it’s readers, ---that New York City tops it’s annual compilation of the rudest cities in America. Since rudeness is a human affliction, what Travel and Leisure is really telling us is that the people of New York are rude. While this is not exactly a “stop the presses, we interrupt regular programming to bring you this news bulletin”..story, it should be pointed out that New Yorkers have not cracked the number one rudeness rating since 2009. Still, they are a breed onto themselves. Last night, speaking with my wife after she arrived at La Guardia for a week of visiting the family, she told me she knew she was back in New York when a lady began screaming at the top of her lungs that she’d waited long enough for her bag---and where was it. Not getting an answer or the bag, Barb says the woman was last seen jumping up on the spinning baggage carousel and crawling through those plastic strips that allow the bags to slip through from the cargo area. Barb had her bag—after 4 hours of flight delays didn’t bother to wait and see who came out first….the lady and a policeman..or a couple of frightened baggage handlers…

Now, New Yorkers are a proud bunch, and Greater New York as it’s known is a big place. Anyone who lives in the Tri State area as we call it…New York City or the bedroom communities on Long Island, New Jersey and Connecticut, lays claim to being part of New York City. Even if THEY only work there. Even if THEY only go into the city once or twice a month, to see a show or go to a restaurant or to watch the Mets or Giants. Or if they’re bored or on parole, the Jets or The Yankees.

The collective view is that the allegation of rudeness is being made by a bunch of out of state weenies who don’t understand New York. You see, when you live in a place that’s the media capital of the world, and the financial capital of the world, and in a sense the capital of the world….You’ll note they didn’t put the U-N in Omaha or Milwaukee….when you live in a city where you can get absolutely anything 24-7 if you know the right people and have enough dough…well, there isn’t much else that impresses you. Although, I think I could soften up any of my NY pals when I tell them that I drank fine wine from barrels in the final week end of January and will be golfing on the first day of February, just miles from my California  home.

Another explanation for what passes for rudeness is the fact that New York is a competitive, dog eat dog town, which fosters a lot of crime and a lot of cons. So, when a tourist or traveling business persons stops a New Yorker on the street, our built in anti con defense kicks in….it may be appear as rudeness, but once it’s established that you are not trying to separate us from our money, we’ll relax and actually be quite friendly.

The cons are everywhere. And some of the worst of them are in the places you’d least expect. Like The New York Catholic Archidocese.

At a time when the Archbishop is urging the flock to kick in 15 million dollars for his annual appeal…and schools and hospitals are being shuttered because of budget problems, the flock has been fleeced by an alleged con woman, who authorities say passed her self off as a shy, prayerful woman of faith, who worked tirelessly in the accounts payable department for 8 years. Anita Collins was a trusted employee, hired without any background check because she began working 3 years before the archdiocese mandated such checks as a condition of employment. The 67 year old Collins had a sweet scam. Every so often as she wrote checks for office supplies, minor repairs or other expenses, a check would go out to KB Collins and eventually would find itself in her personal account. The checks were never really big….a few hundred bucks usually….never more than two thousand. Over 8 years..the take was a cool million. Collins lived in an unremarkable Bronx apartment. But lived very comfortably. 37 thousand dollars worth of furniture from Bloomingdales. 18 thousand dollars in clothes from Brooks Brothers. Thousands more spent on Irish imports and collectible dolls. A car service every day to work. A simple audit revealed the scam in December and Collins quickly copped to the con. Authorities say she’s been arrested twice before, for ripping off an employment service in the 80’s and an unidentified Bronx business in the 70’s.

You say New Yorkers are rude? Hey, the town is so tough you can’t even trust the little old ladies who pay the bills at the Bishops Office. The jigs up, Anita Collins will have her day in court and probably hear a judge sentence her to prison. But it’s not the next judge she should be worried about meeting. If she took the Church for a mil, it’s the last judge she hears from that she should worry about.